Hey all! This holiday season I’m going to do twelve blogs that will focus on the true spirit of Christmas, giving, while still embodying the true spirit of A Measured Life: maximum results for minimum cash. This series is going to feature twelve ways you can bring joy to others this holiday season even if you don’t have a lot to spend. I hope you find this series fun and inspirational and try some of the tasks I’ve set out for you. They’re easy, honest!

I’ll be counting down from twelve and ending with one on Christmas Eve. Spread the joy along with me!

 

# 6

On the 6th blog of Christmas AML posed to me:

Spend 6 minutes of your time really listening to someone.

I don’t mean having a conversation. I don’t mean being defensive. I don’t mean pretending to listen. I mean really, truly listening. From MindTools.com:

1. Pay Attention

Give the speaker your undivided attention, and acknowledge the message. Recognize that non-verbal communication also “speaks” loudly.

• Look at the speaker directly.
• Put aside distracting thoughts.
• Don’t mentally prepare a rebuttal!
• Avoid being distracted by environmental factors. For example, side conversations.
• “Listen” to the speaker’s body language .

2. Show That You’re Listening

Use your own body language and gestures to convey your attention.

• Nod occasionally.
• Smile and use other facial expressions.
• Note your posture and make sure it is open and inviting.
• Encourage the speaker to continue with small verbal comments like yes, and uh huh.

3. Provide Feedback

Our personal filters, assumptions, judgments, and beliefs can distort what we hear. As a listener, your role is to understand what is being said. This may require you to reflect what is being said and ask questions.

• Reflect what has been said by paraphrasing. “What I’m hearing is,” and “Sounds like you are saying,” are great ways to reflect back.
• Ask questions to clarify certain points. “What do you mean when you say.” “Is this what you mean?”
• Summarize the speaker’s comments periodically.

4. Defer Judgment

Interrupting is a waste of time. It frustrates the speaker and limits full understanding of the message.

• Allow the speaker to finish each point before asking questions.
• Don’t interrupt with counter arguments.

5. Respond Appropriately

Active listening is a model for respect and understanding. You are gaining information and perspective. You add nothing by attacking the speaker or otherwise putting him or her down.

• Be candid, open, and honest in your response.
• Assert your opinions respectfully.
• Treat the other person in a way that you think he or she would want to be treated.

 

Being listened to, and understood, is one of the best feelings in the world, don’t you think?

Keep your eyes peeled for #5, coming up next!

Hey all! This holiday season I’m going to do twelve blogs that will focus on the true spirit of Christmas, giving, while still embodying the true spirit of A Measured Life: maximum results for minimum cash. This series is going to feature twelve ways you can bring joy to others this holiday season even if you don’t have a lot to spend. I hope you find this series fun and inspirational and try some of the tasks I’ve set out for you. They’re easy, honest!

I’ll be counting down from twelve and ending with one on Christmas Eve. Spread the joy along with me!

# 7

On the 7th blog of Christmas AML posed to me:

Donate 7 things you don’t use anymore to a shelter or local charity.

We all have stuff sitting around our homes that have the sold purpose of collecting dust. Maybe old clothes, blankets, furniture, kitchenware, etc. You don’t ever use them but you feel guilty tossing them in a dumpster.

But where do you donate them to make sure the clothes actually get used by people that need them? Check out this article by Fashionista.com which goes into great detail about what happens to your clothes when you donate to retailers. Many large scale charitable organizations aren’t much better, and often used clothing leaves the country altogether, sold for profit.

Your best bet? Donate to LOCAL charities or churches. Yes, you might need to take a few extra minutes to find one, but it’s worth it. Your donations are far more likely to help people in your immediate area. A charity local to me, Unforgotten Haven, aids the homeless, displaced vets and pets in the South Jersey area and has just opened a second location in Long Island, NY. They don’t sell the donations they receive, they go directly into the hands of people who need them. They even have volunteers regularly make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches that directly feed the hungry. How cool is that?

So spend the time to find a local charity that needs donations, and even if you donate a little bit of time to make PB&J’s, it’s something. 🙂

Keep your eyes peeled for #6, coming up next!

Hey all! This holiday season I’m going to do twelve blogs that will focus on the true spirit of Christmas, giving, while still embodying the true spirit of A Measured Life: maximum results for minimum cash. This series is going to feature twelve ways you can bring joy to others this holiday season even if you don’t have a lot to spend. I hope you find this series fun and inspirational and try some of the tasks I’ve set out for you. They’re easy, honest!

I’ll be counting down from twelve and ending with one on Christmas Eve. Spread the joy along with me!

# 8

On the 8th blog of Christmas AML posed to me:

Compliment 8 random people!

A couple of weeks ago The Hubs and I were at Produce Junction buying fruits and veggies. I had gone to walking group that morning, hopped in the shower, and just threw on a bit of BB cream and some mascara. The bare minimum. When it was our turn at the counter, the woman handling our transaction said “You don’t wear makeup, do you?” I was a little confused but I said I had a little bit on. She replied “You’re such a natural beauty!” and she turned to my husband and told him how lucky he was to have such a pretty wife. I was so surprised but I managed to stammer out a thank you and a big smile. When our transaction was complete she told us to have a good day and I said “I certainly will NOW, thank you!”

That simple interaction set a positive tone for my day and it was such a wonderfully sweet compliment. It was even better that it came from another woman. As women we spend too much time picking each other apart and not enough time building each other up and I truly believe in karma: a compliment given will be returned to you, as long as it’s given honestly.

I make a point every year at the Renaissance Faire to tell people, out loud, if I love something they’re wearing. People spend months sometimes making their costumes, and they want to feel like their efforts are appreciated. So I go ahead and say it. What’s the worst thing that could happen? They ignore you. No biggie! (BTW that has never happened to me. People always respond positively to an earnest compliment.) Give it a shot, what can it hurt? 🙂

Keep your eyes peeled for #7, coming up next!