Soon after Pope Francis departs, the Dalai Lama will be visiting.
Things are getting crazy around here.
But for those of us who live here all the time, the thing that is front and center on most of our minds is the coming of Autumn. Despite temperatures in the high 70s and 80s, Autumn is just around the corner: September 23rd to be exact. (Yes, despite my next door neighbor’s penchant for decorating for Halloween just after Labor Day and for Christmas BEFORE Thanksgiving.) Commercials for Halloween candy and ads for PUMPKIN SPICE EVERYTHING proliferate in our lives. Me? I grumble under my breath about at the very least waiting until the actual first day of autumn to celebrate, because late summer is so magical.
I’ve been awake since 5 am, for no reason other than my brain decided I would be so. The sun arrived, bringing me the above view, an illusion that I live not in the suburbs, and that is not a golf course, but a vast meadow in a secret place all my own. The fog silences the highway, not half a mile from here. Only the sound of crickets, other chirping insects, and the occasional bird cry creates the soundscape of nature. It is loud, yet calming. Peaceful.
Chaos will come, and autumn, and winter, and dark and cold. But I will find moments like these and treasure them.
(Editor’s Note: Woo hoo! This is my 100th post!)While you’re losing weight and being successful, compliments are seemingly around every corner. “You’re doing great!” “What’s your secret?” “I bet you feel great!” At first, these sorts of compliments can be uncomfortable. They put the focus on our bodies, which we’re obviously not happy with. So, when people are nice about our successes, instead of deferring with “well I have a lot more to lose”, or making some other negative comment about ourselves, we should reply with a simple smile and a “thank you”. When you respond to a compliment with a denial or a negative comment about yourself, this is actually an insult to the person complimenting you. You’re basically telling them that their opinion is wrong. This may eventually lead to them no longer complimenting you!
So what do you do when you’re close to goal and you start getting the backhanded compliments? You know the ones I mean. “Don’t lose too much!” “You skinny bitch!” “Are you ill?” “You’re not going to lose anymore are you? You look great!” “You look so much better than you used to!” Yes, people will say these things to you. And yes, they will think they’re complimenting you. Here’s what I’ve found is a great response (and for me it was true): “thank you, I’m working closely with my doctor to get to a healthy weight for me”.
Do I look SKINNY to you?!
If you know someone who is working on losing weight and you want to compliment them without risking negativity, try the following statements:
“You’re looking so healthy!”
“You’re so fit these days!”
or how about a simple
“I’m so proud of you.”
But once you get to goal, the compliments slow down or stop altogether. It’s not because people don’t care anymore, but the results of your hard work are far less obvious. The visual changes of strength training are much slower to emerge than fat loss, and if they don’t know about your other goals (running a 5k, deadlifting your body weight, etc.) The compliments change to be less about your looks, and more about your accomplishment, or your character, which are even BETTER!
I’ve received some pretty awesome compliments in the last year, and these are my favorites:
You are one of the most mentally healthy people I know
You are athletic
You’re constantly improving yourself
You’re always positive
When you set your mind to something, you do it
Notice hot now one of them is about what I look like? You could make an argument that “athletic” is a physical descriptor, and you wouldn’t be wrong, but it’s also more than that. It’s about mindset, too. It’s about outlook. The most interesting compliment I have ever received about my looks, though, was “Your eyebrows are fabulous, I can’t stop staring at them!” (I don’t think I’d ever heard that one before!)
Cute side story: my bestie’s dad has known me since I was about ten years old. He’s seen me pudgy, he’s seen me plump, he’s seen me fat and he’s seen me OBESE. Several years ago he moved to New Hamsphire, so I don’t see him but maybe once a year or every two years. Two years ago I was down 100 lbs from my highest, about 15 lbs from goal. He hadn’t seen me in more than a year. When I walked into the room he blurted out “WOW there’s a whole lot less of you than there used to be!” If that sentence had come from someone I’d not known nearly as well, I would have been upset, but coming from Mr. D it was just super cute. He was very proud of me!
So go out there and compliment someone today, just make sure you don’t inadvertently insult them. One of my favorite phrases is “It’s not WHAT you say, it’s HOW you say it”.
I was at my current job (I’m a bookkeeper for a family-owned jewelry store) for less than a year when I mentioned I wanted a dog. Instead of saying “oh, that’s nice,” my boss said “AWESOME! Maybe I’ll get a dog, too and you can bring yours to work and I can bring mine to work and they will be BEST FRIENDS!” (Okay it was almost 5 years ago so I may have taken some liberties with the words, but trust me, he was totally cool with me bringing my dog to work.)
I swear to you this was 2010 and not 1978, despite my in-laws clothes.
So for Christmas that year, my mom gave me and The Hubs the best Christmas present ever, Bingley. He was just a little scrub back then, weighing a mere 8 pounds, but he was much bigger than that to our hearts! My boss had also gotten himself a little fuzzball for Christmas, a little mixed breed from a shelter whose name was Baby Theodore. Teddy and Bingley quickly became friends.
I’ve been lucky enough to be able to bring Bing to work with me almost every day since we got him, and it’s been very helpful to both of us! For starters, if I get stressed, I can hug him and I feel better. This is part of our daily route. He also keeps me from buying coffee from Saxby’s daily!
Taking him for a walk keeps me from sitting on my butt all day and gets me some sunshine. I get to stretch my legs and view the pretty little town where I work.
Isn’t this ADORABLE?
My boss loves Bingley and refers to him as his “nephew”. Josh loves Bingley (particularly feeding him apple slices, despite his griping about it). Tom the watchmaker loves Bingley as does the woman who works in the showroom most days. Most of the customers love seeing dogs at work, and it’s a great ice breaker at times. He even works with me when I’m out in the showroom, as you can see from his little photobomb in this photo:
Do you see him?
And he is a little gentleman and relaxes on his pillow under the register.
I also get the express pleasure of dressing him up in some of the more unusual jewelry pieces.
What up, dog?
Bingley benefits from it, too! He doesn’t have to stay home by himself all day, gets plenty of dog/human socialization, gets exercise, and gets some nice 10-minute walks throughout the day. Plus he gets to spend the entire day with his favorite human, me!
Plus by the time we get home, he’s pooped!
He likes it so much, he gets grumpy if I’m running late getting ready.
“Woman, what’s taking you so long? Grab my car treat and let’s hustle!”
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The Pope is coming. Roads are being closed in advance. In the aftermath of the HitchBot scandal, PopeBot is traveling successfully around the city.
I’ve been awake since 5 am, for no reason other than my brain decided I would be so. The sun arrived, bringing me the above view, an illusion that I live not in the suburbs, and that is not a golf course, but a vast meadow in a secret place all my own. The fog silences the highway, not half a mile from here. Only the sound of crickets, other chirping insects, and the occasional bird cry creates the soundscape of nature. It is loud, yet calming. Peaceful.
A Measured Life 