Sometimes we have periods of time where things feel like they’re going well, and then there are times when everything feels like it’s piling on you like an avalanche. This week has felt a bit like the latter.
We had new neighbors move in downstairs on Friday. They had all the windows open and the front door open on a very windy evening, and the wind kept slamming the door shut violently, which shook the entire building. After the 5th or 6th SLAM I went downstairs and opened my door. I politely asked the man (and with some trepidation, as we have another neighbor who drinks too much and slams doors while screaming loudly occasionally) what was going on with the slamming? He introduced himself to me and said he was moving in and seemed confused as to why I seemed to care. I watched the wind try to close the door again and made a comment about how it was the wind making the door slam (as an older man used a towel to prop it open) and went back upstairs, but now whenever I see him he looks at me like I’m a giant asshole. So now there’s tension with the new neighbor because I didn’t want my entire apartment to shake while I was trying to relax after work.
Monday was an incredibly emotional day for me, due to digging up some deep rooted emotional issues I’d long thought taken care of. They do that, you know. Like an old, uncomfortable pair of shoes you think you’ve tossed in the dumpster but you find, years later, stuck in the sliding mechanism of the guest room bureau. They turn up and throw a stick in your spokes.
Wednesday my dog Bingley, my baby boy, my heart, my soul, fell ill suddenly. He was lethargic and refused all food. He just slept all day and when I took him out for a walk he was stiff and slow. He had a fever, and the shakes. I decided to see how he was in the morning. This morning we took him to the vet because he was still feverish and shaky. They gave him a pain injection, antibiotics, pepcid and subcutaneous fluids and tested him for Lyme. He’s much better but my wallet is much lighter. I hope he continues to improve. I don’t know what I’d do without my baby boy.
When I arrived home today I received two letters in the mail. One, my doctor’s office announcing my doctor’s retirement. I’ve had the same, incredible, amazing doctor longer than I’ve been married. It’s safe to say that I love him like an uncle. And now I have to try to find a doctor that I trust as much as I trust him.
The second letter was from my apartment complex. The letter states that I’m in violation of my lease for not having renters’ insurance. I’ve had continuous renters’ insurance since I moved in, EIGHT YEARS AGO. The letter states that if I do not comply they may evict me. I was THREATENED WITH EVICTION for not giving them a copy of a piece of paper. Can we not be civil in this day and age? This is the very first notice I’ve received for this ‘violation’ and it threatens eviction? Even though it’s a form letter, it’s ridiculous.
I’m tired, people. I try so hard to be considerate of others, so it’s extra hard when people seem ignorant of my feelings. All I want is a place to live where I feel safe and I can relax. It feels like so much to ask these days – to have peace and feel respected.
If I hadn’t started meditating regularly first thing in the morning I’d be in tears right now.
Be kind to others, okay? Life’s too short to be an asshole.