Change can be difficult, really difficult, especially when it’s comes down to making a big decision.
The thing about change is that true change only happens when there’s a large amount of discomfort: enough discomfort to make the discomfort of changing seem insignificant. Changing your life can be scary, right? It has felt that way to me, often. In 2010 I was uncomfortable in my body and uncomfortable in my life. I wanted to change, and theoretically I knew how, but I was afraid of the discomfort that I knew would come with those changes. Losing weight is hard work!
After I’d lost the weight I faced another big change. I wanted to start this blog but I was terrified no one would like it. That I’d sit here writing week after week to an “empty room”. While I don’t get as many comments as I wished I would get, I know you’re reading. I heard from someone who reads that HER friend was talking to her about my blog. I’ve never even met this person but she reads my blog! ❤ That was the coolest thing!
Now I face another time in my life where I may have to change. It’s unrelated to this blog, so don’t stress! With A Measured Life I’ve found my voice, and with that I think I’ve found what brings me joy. Cooking, creating and photography make me happy. Sharing these things with you guys makes it even better. But still there are parts of my life that I know need change, and it got me thinking.
There may be parts of our life that we’re not happy with. We may even desire to change those things about ourselves, but we are afraid of the discomfort that these new aspects of our lives might bring. So we wait, biding our time and dealing with the discomfort of staying the same. You want a new mattress, for example. Your old one is starting to get uncomfortable, but you don’t want to have to shell out $1000 for a new mattress set. So you stick with it. Soon one of the coils starts to poke you in the back when you sleep. You wake up achy every morning, but knowing how you’ll have to work extra hours to pay for the new mattress. Finally the spring pokes through and cut your skin and you’ve had enough. You make the change, you buy the mattress and sleep better and wonder why the hell you waited so long.
At this point I’m still sitting on the fence. There are cacti on one side of the fence, and thorned bushes on the other. I haven’t decided which sort of pain I want to deal with right now. Making the actual decision is always hard for me, but once I figure out which I want more I commit and go headlong into whatever I choose.
I’m not quite ready to evolve, but I am so close to it I can taste it. I know it’s coming, I can feel it, like bones aching from a growth spurt that’s on its way. I’m almost ready.
It’s like this for many people, I’m sure. I’d love to hear what you’re struggling with in regards to change, and how you deal with the indecision that comes with it. Please share in the comments!