Have you ever met a person who is bound and determined to be miserable as soon as they wake up in the morning? Someone who carries a dark cloud of negativity and sourness with them even when they’re supposed to be having fun? Every now and then I run across a person like this.
Recently I was at an event that is both free and fun. However a person who voluntarily came to said event arrived with the intention of being unhappy. Sour looks and negativity radiated from this person the entire evening, affecting those that surrounded. This person was like a black hole, sucking joy and happiness out of those nearby. For the life of me, I cannot understand why people act this way.
Why on earth would someone choose misery and unhappiness when they could have joy and pleasure? It doesn’t make any logical sense to me (which may be my problem, logic.)
Happy is something you can CHOOSE to be. Yes, as always there are extenuating circumstances for those suffering from clinical depression but there’s still an effort to be made here. Wake up and begin your day with an affirmation: Today WILL be a good day. Bad things may happen, things may not be perfect, but I will handle them with grace and a smile.
You can do it, I have faith in you!
A Measured Life 
Sometimes happiness isn’t a choice. Clinical depression and PTSD makes it awfully difficult to “just be happy.” But, I don’t ruin anyone else’s good times. It’s too tiring to pretend I’m happy when I’m not. So, I stay at home.
Maybe your negative friend has depression? And needs the support rather than “just be happy.” Trust me, no one I know wants to feel this way.
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I did mention in my post that there are extenuating circumstances for clinical depression. I was diagnosed with both depression and PTSD a few years back, and I know how difficult it can be. No one can be sunshine and roses all the time. In this person’s case (she is NOT my friend) she is a serial complainer. Complains to everyone and everything about how awful everything is. Depression or not, THAT behavior can be changed. Thanks for your comment!
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Yep to the first reply. But if it’s not clinical depression, it could also be conditioning. Maybe they were imprinted early in life by a parent or parents. (Hey – it’s always good to have someone to BLAME, right?)
As humans we can get trapped in a habit – a way of doing things, thinking of things, and we don’t even
realize it. It becomes a part of us.
One way of handling this might be – if the person was a friend or you had to be with them frequently – to take
a private moment and tell them that their behavior was affecting you negatively. Was there a problem and
could you aid them in any way? Most people want to be loved and have friends and “belong.” Maybe their
negativity is something they consider funny and they don’t even realize it’s turning people off. Or maybe they
do indeed have something important that is hindering them.
If it is just a habit, they’d at least know how it might be affecting others and then work on changing their
pattern. If it’s something bigger, they might realize that their problem was showing to others – and that
could propel them to some help.
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There is huge difference between depression/mental illness and just being a negative person. I think for the most part, it’s pretty clear to people who care to take the time to notice.
I have first hand knowledge of what it’s like to be around someone who can make anything bad…and not just bad..but bad to them. I was raised by one.
I know that now-a-days there is a stigma in saying ‘Choose Happiness’ because so many people are finally refusing to have their depression/mental illness ignored…I’m included, having OCD…but there a huge difference and any one who has been forced to spend time around a chronically negative person can see it.
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