Remembering Loved Ones

http://klear.com/profile/ShandaRenee__
http://klear.com/profile/ShandaRenee__

You’ll forgive my lack of food/fitness/frugality posts in the past week or so. There’s been  quite a bit going on around here this month and life has been rather busy. I recently read a blog entry about emotions and weight gain and while I’m 100% positive I’m not an emotional eater, it DOES affect my eating: I don’t eat. When I’m sad/depressed/angry I simply am not interested in food. So, indirectly, this post IS about food and weight!

My dad with my nephew Adam in 2009.
My dad with my nephew Adam in 2009.

Loss has been a common theme in my life this past week. A very good friend was reminded of a beloved cousin lost in Afghanistan years ago. Another very good friend lost her grandmother on Friday. Yom Kippur was last week and my boss was missing his late sister who was also his best friend. Last week a package was delivered to me at work with things that were my father’s, who I lost 3 years ago to a heart attack. Grief is a pain in the ass, and it comes out of nowhere and wallops you when you least expect it, because it’s also a giant douchebag. Grief sucks.

0514414909b414355732486a8e590e360518c2-wmSo this is a call to arms to everyone out there: love fully as often as you can. You never know when someone will be gone from your life. Don’t waste time being angry, or holding grudges, or, God forbid, hating anyone. It’s a waste of time, and it only hurts YOU. Spend that time loving others without the expectation of getting anything in return. And TELL those people you love them, even if you don’t say those exact 3 words. SHOW them. In the way you treat them, in the way you look at them. In the respect you show them. There’s no reason to hide that, none at all.

You had to know I'd finish this job with humor, didn't you? :)
You had to know I’d finish this job with humor, didn’t you? 🙂
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8 comments

  1. Well said! I may be mad at my loved ones but it usually doesn’t last long and I still usually show I love them during that time (lasting less than a day normally haha). You are so right that it only hurts us and we are wasting precious time that we could be spending loving them with our actions! Sorry grief hit you and your family/friends hard this past week. Seems there’s a lot of that going around.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This comes at an appropriate time for me. I’ve been missing my Dad terribly the last couple of weeks. Like you said, it can come out of no where. Great message and always needed. hugs

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I read once that “grief makes us pay attention.” Boy, does it ever. And I do think it is harder to have it earlier
    in life as we have to carry it longer. It can be so heavy. Yet, I also feel that I’m lucky to have grief because
    the person I loved is so wonderful that I never want to forget them. They were worth all the pain that grief
    now brings. I’m sorry that I never got to meet your Dad, Andrea. But in some ways, through your writing (and even your step-sister’s writings,) I feel I do know him. His death pulls me more towards him, makes me
    pay attention even more.

    I like all the comments about the difference of stress and grief too. Makes me see myself more clearly. Sometimes stress and grief seem commingled. But they are different. Stress does definitely make me eat.
    It’s a more “take-in,” stay alive feeling. Whereas grief is a more release, “let out” feeling. Maybe we need
    both to work through our problems. Maybe both of these feelings have a natural way of “righting” our
    body and spirit and returning us to love and balance.

    And lastly, also on a lighter note, I just got a birthday card ready for the beard man you live with. Only I
    didn’t have a beard card this year. When he gets it, you will understand how, in a funny and strange way,
    we were connected at this specific time. Makes me pay attention . . . . and wonder. Much love to you
    as we all think of and remember your sweet Dad.

    Like

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