I spent a large portion of my life being a large person. Up until about 30, to be precise. When you lose the amount of weight I have, your mind takes much longer to catch up. I’m fit now, not skinny, not thin, but fit. Even so, as a woman, there are times when I feel less than fit. The other night I was walking through Target to grab copy paper and a jar of PB2 and I felt chubby. Now sure, it was probably the combination of hormones and water retention coupled with the jean shorts I was wearing pushing the small amount of excess skin at my waist into a muffin top, but I felt it. It happens sometimes, ya know?
As as we approached the checkout, I looked around. I was one of the fittest (most fit? grammarians help me out here) people that I could see.
Please understand that I am not putting the other people down, not at all! I used to be one of the FATTEST people in the room. The point is that our minds are not very good at realizing what we actually look like. Even our mirrors’ reflections are not an accurate depiction of what we look like to others. Have you ever taken a selfie and your phone flipped it around for you and you went “is THAT what I really look like?” We’ll never know what we actually look like to other people.
Am I perfectly fit with 10% body fat and no excess skin or stretch marks? HELL NO! But I’ve blossomed, inside and out. Sure, it’s scary sometimes to not have the weight to hide behind anymore. But at 34 years old, I’m in better shape than I’ve ever been in my life. My new found confidence has helped me try things I wouldn’t have had the metaphorical balls to try before, and it’s made me new friends! And I feel no shame at all in sharing these less than flattering photos with you, because it’s me in that body, too. My new body isn’t my dream body: I’m broad at the top with narrow hips. But it’s MY body and it deserves the care I give it.
So if you’re in the process of your journey, and you’re feeling down, look at how far you’ve come instead of how far you need to go. Because someday you may wake up and, despite feeling down on yourself, be one of the fittest people in the room. Also, take lots of pictures, and post more than just the “perfect” ones. Life’s too short to hide ourselves.